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Your pain is legit

Eunice Afeni
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September 24, 2023

Some time ago I was taking my daughter's braids out and she kept complaining it was painful. I found it unbelievable and her reaction extreme because I felt I was very gentle, and she was faking it, but on further reflection, I realize, who am I to think that way?

That moment reminds me also of my experience when I gave birth to the same daughter. I had her through a caesarean section. I was rolled out of the theatre around 3am-ish. At daybreak, a family member called me and gave me a long talk about bracing myself and not showing any sign of weakness or pain. Doing any of these, in her words, would prolong my stay in the hospital. Of course, she meant well and her advise was based on what she knew at the time.

I tried bracing up, doing stuff. I forced myself to sit up and at a point my head started to ache, and I began to feel dizzy. I was in pain, but I was trying to deny the pain. I gave up and told myself, I can’t heal this way, I’m allowed to admit my pain, feel the pain, inform my doctor and heal at the right pace. Why should I pretend to my doctors who can help me?

See, your pain is legit. It’s okay to admit your pain and even cry when you feel like. Some of us are dealing with the pain of a loveless marriage, absentee parents, intergenerational pain, racism, loneliness, sexual abuse etc. Maybe you were withdrawn from your parents, or you have been shipped from one home to another as if you were an item. These are real and undeniable pains. DO NOT allow anyone tell you to be in denial of your pain. 

Your pain is valid, let no one belittle it or make you feel like a weakling for admitting your pain. Deal with it, no doubt. Seek help where necessary. At least, you will have a broader view of what you are facing and how to overcome. While pain is at it, one thing we want is comfort or some relief. That’s why we take pain relieving tablets in the case of physical pain. We take time to rest. In the case of emotional pain, it’s okay to go for counselling or therapy but there is more you can do for yourself to get whole again. In the case of my pain from CS, I narrated of how I told myself not to pretend and to be plain with my doctor so that I can get the needed help. It is the same with emotional pain. You will need to be plain with the one who can help you.

See, there is no one who can help you deal with pain like the gentle, loving saviour Jesus. You may have heard of Him before or perhaps the first time. He is such a loving and caring helper who can be touched with the feelings of your pain. In His words, He promises healing to the hurting. He can give beauty in place of ashes and replace despair with hope to anyone who would come to Him. He is a friend who can be trusted. He is ever ready to help. I want to encourage you think about this and talk to Him as a friend that He is. Make no mistake, this is going to be a journey but you will never be alone. You will see yourself in His light. He will fill you with hope again. Suddenly, you will see purpose in your pain and how He can make something beautiful of your pain. It's amazing what He can make out of your life if you hand your life and all the hurts to Him. A good example is a woman like Joyce Meyer. She was sexually abused by her father but today, it is evident Jesus made a beautiful message out of her messy story. He can do wonders with what is left. He will fill you with love. You will get whole. He will position you for a new beginning.  

The help is not in alcohol or drugs or sex. The issues will wait for you when those stuff wear off. Stories abound of how things have gone worse for people who resort to dealing with pain that way. This is not to condemn you if you have resorted to any of these in dealing with your pain. I am here to present a true and tested way I know you can get help. With Him in your life, the pain will lose its power and hold over you and your future. 

May the love of Jesus flood your heart. May the peace and the warmth of His Spirit clothe you. Receive your healing in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

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